Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Chaos of the psyche

If things could get any more hectic, they would. There is something to be said about the human psyche, however. I seem to be rather thoughtful today and needed a place to get it out. So here I am. I have tried this blogging thing before. I am not sure how well I will do but it is worth a shot. Which brings me to the point.

There is a lot to be said about the human mind. I suppose my fascination for psychology (Hence the majoring in Forensic Psych for my Masters degree) and the way it functions. As I deal with friends, music, children, and life, I seem to be developing these thoughts that make no sense to me. Where is this clarity coming from? Whether you agree or disagree, it is all here as I try and figure things out.

Negative breeds negative. Ironic this is my first thought as I can be very negative and cynical. My experiences with people, professionally and personally, seems to be jading me. There comes a time in your life you have to let go. The differences in excuses and reasons is avoiding life and responsibilities, and learning. What I mean is, explaining something that has happened is different than using the explanation to get out of something. For example, "I have anxiety so I cannot do this" is an excuse. "I have anxiety so I will try my hardest and make my best attempt" is a reason. Hopefully I am explaining this right. My words seem to be all disordered.

Sometimes my mind wanders and I develop these theories in my head. I often wonder if I am insane because sometimes they come out of nowhere. I often get frustrated with people because they use too many excuses. They avoid life and soak in the dismal mindset. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety young (age 5 I think) so I get that aspect. But after working with people and watching those around me, I believe that sometimes you just have to let go of excuses and simply do it. It sounds easier than it is, but when you are neglecting things that matter (children, responsibilities, friends, etc.) there is a problem. The reason becomes a cop out; an excuse.

I am no where near perfect. What person is? I have made my mistakes and taken full responsibility for my actions. I live now by facing what scares me and learning how to like who I am. It has taken me years to do this. If everyone took 5 minutes out of the day to say something nice to another person (or people), things would be a lot better. 

Today's lesson: Never make a reason an excuse.